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December 1, 2011
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"Twilight broke out into loud, painful sobs into the small dragon's shoulder, her hooves holding him as close as she could."

"Well girls, what did you think of this one?" Twilight (the designated reader) asked as she turned away from her laptop to look at her friends who were all currently lounging around Fluttershy's comfy cottage interior.

"I think you're being a total crybaby, Twilight." Rainbow Dash mocked, laughing at Twilight's fictional breakdown. Flying to the center of the room, she struck a purposefully overdone dramatic pose, and, as melodramatically as possible, moaned, "OH NO! It was ALIVE!" Dash threw her forelegs and towards the sky, her head following as she yelled the word alive. "But now it is DEAD!" At the word dead, she took own an exaggerated droopy posture. "I, Twilight Sparkle, egghead extraordinaire, HAVE KILLED IT! Oh, woe is me, I am a horrible, TERRIBLE, pony! Oh, this is just the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!"

"I'm never going to hear the end of that, aren't I?" an unamused Rarity dryly stated.

Rainbow Dash let herself float down to the ground as she laughed her own performance, Pinkie being the only pony to join in. Everypony else just rolled their eyes. After they calmed down, Dash said "Sorry Twilight, but really? The think was trying to eat you, or whatever. And it's not like you haven't ever killed a pesky fly or mosquito or anything like that. I mean, who are you, Fluttershy?"

Everypony gave a chuckle at that, except for the demure pony herself, who instead opted to hide beneath her mane and let out an adorable little "Eeep!"  

"I don't think I even reacted like that when I killed that cupcakes crazy (pun intended) version of me!" Pinkie added.

"You know what, Rainbow Dash? You're right. I don't think I'm quite that sensitive myself... probably." Twilight struck a nervous glance, as she was actually rather unsure how she would react. "Anyway, moving on."

"If everypony doesn't mind I have something I wanted to say..."

Twilight continued. "I personally found Princess Luna's speech patterns in chapter one rather perplexing, as she was speaking only with Princess Celestia. I'm fairly sure that around her sister, if not everypony else, Princess Luna speaks normally. Then again, I've never actually seen their interactions... hmm. What do you all think?" Getting nothing but shrugs from her friends, Twilight paused to think for a moment. "Oh, I know! I'll just ask Princess Celestia herself!"

"Girls, could I say something please?"

Twilight produced a quill and parchment, and said aloud as she wrote, "Dear Princess Celestia, I know this is a rather silly question, but my friends and were wondering if Princess Luna speaks in the 'Royal Canterlot Voice' when it's just you two talking in private. Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle."

"There was something I'd really like to say about the story before you go get Spike, Twilight..."

"Alright, now just let me get Spike to send this for me. I'll be right back girls." Twilight departed to the kitchen where Spike was preparing some food for everypony.

"oooooh..."

"Does anypony else think it's rather rude to bother the Princess herself with such a fatuous question?" Rarity asked after Twilight was out of earshot.

"Meh. I just wonder who even would care about something so stupid." Dash replied.

"Well, you know Twilight. She has to know like EVERYTHING EVER or else she's not happy. She's such a silly pony!" a certain boisterous pink pony exclaimed.

"Yeah, whatever."

Twilight stepped into the room, already carrying a letter from the Princess. Rarity seemed rather shocked  that the Princess bothered to respond at all. "My, that was quick."

"Well, the Princess is quite a quick scribe! Or so I would assume, since she always replies in such a timely fashion whenever I make a request or have a question."

Twilight began reading the letter aloud, "My Most Faithful Student, while that is indeed a rather silly question, my dear sister Luna is a rather silly pony. She has of course had to adjust, and it has been quite amusing to hear her use the old ways of speaking. And yes, she does indeed occasionally use that voice when it is just Luna and I speaking with one another. Right afterwards, she blushes most adorably. Your Mentor, Princess Celestia."

"GIRLS!" Everpony turned to Fluttershy, who began to blush most adorably herself after yelling in the confined space of her living room. "Oh, um, sorry. If you don't mind, could I please say something?"

"Of course! Why didn't you just say so?"

"I did."

"Oh. Right."

"Well, anyway, I just wanted to say that it was really sweet how much you were caring for Spike in the story, Twilight."

"Uh, thanks, I guess."

Rainbow Dash threw up her hooves. "Ugh, you guys are so boring! Why don't we talk about something cool, like the monsters? I mean, those solider guys' armor sounded awesome! I want a set my self, since the only thing that could make it more awesome would be if I was the pony wearing it!"

"Yeah Twilight, what did you think about the monsters? What do you think they mean?" Pinkie Pie chimed in.

"I don't know. I saw a lot of Royal Guards as a filly, and I thought they were kinda scary for a while, but it's not like I would have some foalhood trauma that they were involved in, just like your sister wasn't actually murdered and Fluttershy's father wasn't really a fillybeater. Maybe after more of the story is released I could hazard a guess though."

"What do you think your chances are? So far, I have to admit you've done pretty good for an egghead." Dash quipped.

"I'm sure I'll do just fine, as these stories always end well. Well, at in least one of the endings they do, but those are the canon endings so the point still stands."

"Whatever."

"I'd do even better if I was using my teleportation spell. Although for story purposes, I would most likely be prevented from teleporting at all, but the author hasn't mentioned that. I mean, come on. I would have tried it by that point of the story. I've still enjoyed the story, but really?"

"Again, whatever."

"Still, I have a sword, so that's nice."

"You know, I better get some sort of weapon when I get my own Silent Ponyville."

"Uh... I'm pretty sure that Jake said that he wasn't planning on writing one with you as the main character, Rainbow."

"Well that's lame! C'mon, you could totally tell from the last story that I've got some sort of issue with my parents. I want a story of me being awesome, as I always am, in Silent Ponyville so I can show you guys how it's really done! Jake, get your act together and show everypony how awesome I am!"

"That's nice, Rainbow."

"Ladies! And Rainbow Dash-" Rarity began.

"Hey!"

"Just getting back at you for earlier, dearie. As I was saying, I believe the real point of concern in this story is that we are all stuck in that dreadful plane of existence! With all the filth and decay it comes with! I can't imagine how terrible that would all be for my- I mean our- complexions!"

Another mass eye-roll took place, this time directed at Rarity. "Hehe, maybe our complexions wouldn't be our biggest concern, considering the situation. Another thing is, just think of the timing! I don't think Silent Ponyville was really the honeymoon our Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were hoping for."

"Yeah, fighting for our lives is awesome and all, but it's totally not as good as getting it on. Too bad for Fluttershy, because I am awesome in bed."

At the thought of sleeping with Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy's cheeks again matched her mane, and she did her best to become as diminutive as possible. Everypony else just gave Dash a look that said "Did you really just say that?"

"Hey, don't give me that look! It's not like I meant I want to have sex with Fluttershy." Against all odds, Fluttershy managed to become even smaller.

"We wonder sometimes, Dashie." Pinkie joked.

"Ugh, not the fillyfooler thing again." Dash said, now in a huff on the floor, as everypony, even Fluttershy laughed.

"You asked for it, Dashie!"

"Heh, yeah, I guess I did."

After a moment, the laughter died down, and Applejack decided it was here turn to finally say something. However, just as she was about to speak up, Spike walked into the room, carrying a platter of fresh cupcakes.

Pinkie Pie of course jumped up to claim her share immediately, shouting "CUPCAKES!" as if it were a battle cry. Now that there was food to be had, the discussion was was over, and Applejack still has said not a single word.
Just a little something I decided to do because I got bored tonight. It's supposed to be a somewhat humorous commentary/criticism of SP3 by :iconjake-heritagu: but I'll let you guys be the judge of that. I myself think it could be better and funnier, but I don't know.

Also, the ending is abrupt, I know, but this was no more than a way to kill a couple of hours, and I was out of jokes. So whatever. XD

Anyway, leave a comment and tell me if you got a chuckle or two out of this, or if you didn't. If you guys do actually enjoy this, I might consider doing something like this again.

The ponies are property of Hasbro, blah blah blah.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkillersteel:
killersteel Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012
And of course I'm the one doing the Silent Ponyville for Dash.

Why is it whenever I read Silent Ponyville, I get nervous about my own writing? I just want it to go right :c.
Reply
:iconkillersteel:
killersteel Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012
And of bloody course I'm the one writing the Silent Ponyville for Dash...

Can't tell if the story is good or not though. Just hope I'm doing it all right...
Reply
:iconanimefreak120:
animefreak120 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011  Student General Artist
This amuses me. xD I enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconfresko-1:
Fresko-1 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You got a sword egghead, but it's rusty so it's not very helpful in terms of attack power >w>

i'm sure the thing would break sooner or later lol
[Remembers that in some silent hill games even melee weapons have their limits]
Reply
:iconxuncu:
xuncu Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2011  Student General Artist
*type-ity*type*
AJ, in thought bubble: "And not a single Applefuck was given that day."
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2011
XD
Reply
:iconmad-mutt:
Mad-Mutt Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Student General Artist
This was funny though I've often wondered how the gang would react if they ever got a chance to read some of the crazy shit we write about them.
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011
Probably something like this:

:icondashfacehoofplz::iconfacehoofplz:

XD
Reply
:iconmad-mutt:
Mad-Mutt Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Student General Artist
Ha! I just reolized after reading this that AJ has barely appeared in the Silent Ponyville stroy line. She's only poped up two or three times as far as I know and that's it.
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011
Actually, only once, and with no speaking lines. XD
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:iconmad-mutt:
Mad-Mutt Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Student General Artist
Bwhahahahahah! Poor AJ.
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011
inorite? XD
Reply
:icondeath-by-grunge:
Death-By-Grunge Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011
Chuckles were had.
Reply
:iconxeno-the-hedgehog:
Xeno-the-Hedgehog Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I like this. It's interesting to see someone's take one what the characters think of the stories that have been written about them. Keep up the good work, I look forward to the next chapter.
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
Thanks, though this is a one off thing I wrote on a whim. I hadn't planned on doing anymore, really.
Reply
:iconarcangelv1:
ArcAngelV1 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
*engage rant* You got rarity wrong. Because she strives to be an "upper class" lady, she doesn't use contractions such as "I'm" or "aren't" in her speech. *disengage rant*
Other then that this makes great comic relief for those poor saps who get scared by SP3.
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
Meh, I wasn't trying to hard to get everypony just right. XD
Reply
:iconlordquadros:
LordQuadros Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
I figured the soldier pony monsters were more a manifestation of the overall altered Ponyville than anything from Twilight's past, but I guess the truth has yet to be seen. In any case, funny stuff, XD.
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
That's what I personally think as well, though with some influence from Twilight.

And thanks. :D
Reply
:iconjoeldashreed:
JoelDashReed Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011  Professional General Artist
I thought you will do a self insert on a creepy mode, killing Lance, but turned out to be a comedy fict. XD

And yeah, I thought of Twilight Sparkle a wuss... =_= That thing was about to kill her... KILL HER! ._q
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:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
XD
Reply
:iconalek4ever:
alek4ever Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
What is this? I DONT GET IT! :icondarkpinkieshrugplz:
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
Have you read Silent Ponyville?
Reply
:iconalek4ever:
alek4ever Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011
Nope :P
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011
Yeah, that would help if you had read the Silent Ponyville (SP) series. XD
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
Is it wrong of me to say that I find this to be the most amusing of all the Silent Ponyville stories?
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
I guess not. XD
Reply
:iconourakiritsu:
Ourakiritsu Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
You know, them being pegasi, im sure that Dash and Fluttershy could get into some interesting positioo-aaaAAAAHHH! FOUL THOUGHT BEGONE FROM THEE!!!

Err, I meant, really funny ^_^
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
Hehe, I bet they could. :iconfluttershyblushplz:

Anyway, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
Reply
:iconfgqsuochosdiu:
fgqsuochosdiu Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
I did enjoy this.
I'm sur eI would have enjoyed it more if I had read any Silent Ponyville though.
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
Yeah, that would help. XD
Reply
:iconlaegreffon:
Laegreffon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Way to totally MST3K the Crap out of Silent Ponyville. XD That was pretty win.
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
Haha, thanks. I'm glad it served its purpose.
Reply
:iconnotagoodusername360:
NotAGoodUsername360 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
Oh, so this WAS intentionally ripping off my oldest gimmick, eh? XD
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
No, I wouldn't quite call it a MST3K (which you can hardly call your gimmick XD) but it was riffing on SP3, lol.
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:iconnotagoodusername360:
NotAGoodUsername360 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
I lol'd. XD
Reply
:iconace2401:
Ace2401 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
Good. XD
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